Why You Should STOP Expecting A You From Others

I know you have been there the same way I have…people suck and you’re wondering why they don’t put in the same effort as you would. Let me remind you that no human is perfect and the reality is that we are all different…..and that is okay. What matters the most is learning to accept people the way they are, know your limitations while setting clear boundaries for yourself. That is the most important lesson to be learned.

Up until maybe a year ago, I would put out so much effort to please others because I am a kind person—-even when it was an inconvenience for me. I would be nice to people who were selfish and weren’t that nice to me. Once I noticed that these same people who I was pleasing didn’t care to put in the same amount of effort as what I would put out, I backed off. That was when I learned to STOP. Stop people pleasing and Stop entertaining people who didn’t add value to my life. Once I began to think this way, my life began to shift. I don’t need an entourage. And Honestly, there are too many expectations without the ability to give back. True and deep connected friendships take time and years to build anyway. Of lately: I have more peace of mind. I have a selected amount of genuine friends who I attend events with and enjoy speaking to, plus my one true best friend who I confide in and I am so grateful for. No offense to anyone reading this—It’s not personal. It’s my truth.

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HERE’S WHY YOU NEED TO STOP EXPECTING YOU IN OTHERS

1) STOP expecting others to fulfill you: YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Not me, not your mother, not your father, not your bae, no one!!! So stop getting mad at others when they don’t invite you to their bbq, hang out with you when you want, or take you on their vacation with them. Use every opportunity as a learning session. That’s not their responsibility to make you feel validated or fulfilled. Grow up, move on and create your own life.

2) STOP expecting others to like you: Listen when you are trying to strive in life—don’t expect to be liked much. Look at Beyonce…she sings and minds her business and has the most haters ever. Everyone is not going to like you so do you and be authentic to you. What you can do is surround yourself with people who love and accept you rather than trying to be liked by folks who don’t care about you.

3) STOP expecting people to change: This is who they are—accept them. Change is a personal and individual choice. It requires analyzing the “self”. People have to want to change and do better. Just worry about you and create boundaries for your own self. With these boundaries, condition your mind on how to approach interactions with these folks.

4) STOP expecting people to read your mind: Of lately I have been telling people exactly how I feel and it feels so good. Clear communication creates clear boundaries. Try not to set others up for failure by thinking that they should read your mind. It’s only gonna drive you crazy and build up unwarranted animosity that isn’t called for. So open your mouth and speak.

Okay I am going to stop here. I think this list is good enough for now. I hope you enjoy and see you next week!!

Carpe Diem
Alecia